the day after...

well i'm awake.  with a grumbly belly, runny nose and overall tiredness.

so far i'm not hungover.  and although we did start celebrating the new year yesterday afternoon (possibly around noon), as the evening progressed, i really started "slow-stepping" it on the alcohol.  by midnight i'm pretty sure i was completely sober, but i was still having a good time.  most of yesterday was spent playing dr.mario on the wii.  i must say, it was the best $10 i ever spent and accounted for hours, yes HOURS of fun.  to the point where we turned the damn game into a drinking game, which may have to turn into a new tradition for party nights. 

my house is full of sleeping friends.  because we're all responsible adults and i would never EVER let someone leave my home thats been drinking.  i'm just glad i was able to provide comfy cozy spots for everyone.  maybe that extra mattress is worth hanging on to, haha.

so 2010 is over.  honestly, i can't sit here and pin-point things that happened every month during that year.  but i'm glad to say its over.  for the most part 2010 was a year of struggle, not only for me, but a lot of my friends as well.  i was glad to say goodbye and say hello to a new and promising year.

i'm not really one for making "resolutions"  but i would like to try harder at some things, such as:

• making healthier choices in general.  such as eating better and exercising (i did buy a gym membership!)
• not to mention:  healthier choices in the way i live on this earth and healthier choices for my mental and spiritual state.  
• spend less time online and stop being so technology obsessed.
• as a society i think a lot of us have really lost touch with whats important because we're all to busy playing on our phones, laptops, social networking sites, etc.
• since i went into the new year already having quit facebook, i feel good about this.  i spend less time on the computer now, i use it for what i need and get off right away.  although i will update my blog.
•  travel.
• i say this every year, i make plans, BIG plans, tell them to everyone and then everything falls through.  but not this year dammit!  i will go somewhere haha!
• continue the constant strive to stay positive.
• the power of positive thinking is no joke, i truly believe this.  however, being and staying positive is really hard for me.  sometimes i have no idea why i am such a downer 99% of the time.
• stay in touch with friends.
• now that i am facebookless, i have to remember not to alienate my friends and family.  i must stay in touch!
• adventure with the boys as much as possible.
• remember that each new day with them is a blessing and full of endless opportunities.  spend more time together as a family enjoying and learning from eachother.  make time to try and see new things.  cook together, eat together, play together, laugh and cry together, just be together.  happy and healthy.
• continue being a crafty bitch!
• 'nuff said!
• make the effort
• im going to be vague on this.
• realize that its okay to put a little focus on yourself sometimes and not feel guilty about it.
• this one is going to be hard for me, but i know i have to do it.  i go without a lot of things all the time because i feel guilty about spending any time/money on myself.  but this year, i need to get over this and realize that sometimes its okay to buy that $5 bottle of OPI nailpolish or spend the money to have my haircut more than once a year.

and thats it from me!

i hope everyone has an amazing year!

an update...of sorts! well really, just a bunch of rambling...

well, as you can see i have severely neglected my little blog this month.  november has been rough, health wise.  life wise, however, things seem to be falling right into place and i couldn't be more thankful for that.

a few weeks ago i came down with the worst case of pink eye i have ever encountered as it was making its way around the public schools and iain managed to bring it home with him.  pair that with an awful sinus infection and cough and i was out of commission.  and then this past weekend, iain got really sick.  a fever of 102 was followed by a trip to urgent care the very next morning where he was diagnosed with pneumonia and an ear infection.  so we have been battling that all week.  poor kid!  luckily the antibiotics seem to finally be kicking in and he is slowly back to his old crazy self. 

with all the illnesses we've been battling, i totally fell of track with my writing for nanowrimo!  i am totally disappointed, however, i think it was a great motivator to get me back into writing.  i found the inspiration i really needed to finally get a good idea together for a book and even after november is over, i plan on continuing writing it and eventually sending it off to a publisher.

and today is thanksgiving.  this will mark the fourth thanksgiving i have spent without my mom.  later on this afternoon we will head down to virginia beach to spend the evening with R.'s family.  and some other people i would rather not spend any time with, but i will have to suck it up and deal with it.

black friday....

this is the first year where i am actually really tempted to go out shopping before work.  yes, i have to work tomorrow.  thank you corporate america.  but hey, atleast they gave me christmas eve and new years eve off this year, usually they have us work til about noon both days.  anyway, like i was saying.  shopping...tomorrow...i kind of want to go.  sheets, pillows and other fun house stuff for super cheap, not to mention lots of toys and games for super cheap for the sidekick.  the downside of all that is the traffic, the crazy people and well the crazy people in large crowds.  this is something i am going to have to think long and hard about.

and finally this weekend, i will finally be hauling my butt to the movie theater to see the newest harry potter with a few of my favorite people and i couldn't be more excited.  even the sidekick may join in on the fun.


so in the grand tradition of school essays, here is a list of things i am thankful for this year:

- the partner in crime.
- the side kick.
- an amazing group of friends. (if you're reading this you probably fit in with this group)
- an amazing family that has taken me in as one of their own.
- my real family - the few i stay in contact with.
- despite recent sickness, i am thankful we are all here to see another holiday season.
- chapstick.
- good lotion.
- flat irons.
- and coffee.

happy thanksgiving everyone!  i'm off to watch the macy's thanksgiving day parade.

and thats the difference!

i totally forgot that it was daylight savings time.  so i woke up this morning feeling somewhat refreshed and rested.  granted, i am still sick so i was feeling as refreshed and rested as i could be. 

because i was sick this weekend has been a total bummer.  i've only left the apartment a few times, once for iain's final soccer match of the season (the mighty eagles were victorious again!) and out to dinner last night with R. and his brother ReRe.  even being sick, last night was full of laughs and they were much needed.

my little sidekick has lately has been saying some pretty off the wall things.  such as ending every sentence with "and thats the difference!" while we were driving home last night, we were all trying to explain to him what "difference" really means.  let me tell you, its pretty tough.  and of course, I. had to add a little humor to the conversation when R. was trying to explain to him.  I. finally ended the moment of silence with "Oh, so you don't know!" i could have died, i was laughing so unbelievably hard, i couldn't catch my breath a few times.

and this blog wouldn't be complete without a little NaNoWriMo update! 

we're one month into november and i'm doing pretty good.  i've had a few days where i couldn't be bothered to write much or write at all.  but i think as long as i write during the week and make up for some of it on the weekends i'll be okay.  right now i'm a little behind, my stats say i'll finish dec. 4th at the rate i'm going.  but i wont let that deter me from my goal.  i've even been letting a friend read my story every few days and she is hooked!

stay tuned for more NaNo updates.  i am hoping *fingers crossed* that i may be able to attend a write in or two in the next week.  now that I. doesn't have any activities going on that leaves our evenings free to head up to aromas coffee house.  we'll see what happens.

farewell october

this morning was the first morning where i really felt autumn in the air.  the air was brisk and filled my lungs, there was that smell in the air....not the typical "eww the trash stinks!" but fall was in the air.  today was one of the first days where the heat wasn't overwhelming.  it was enjoyable.  and i really wish i could have enjoyed it more than i was able to.  but hopefully the weekend proves to be nothing short of amazing.

but just as expected, the month flew by before i could enjoy it.  this was a month of a lot of ups and downs.

lows:

unfortunately there was no visit to the pumpkin patch this year.  iain opted out since he had gone to one with his school.  i guess he's at that age right now where he doesn't like to "repeat" things.  honestly, it bummed me out a little but i am hoping that the impending holiday season will give us some time to do some adventuring.  we also haven't had a chance to carve any pumpkins or make caramel apples.  we did a few halloween crafts and watched some halloween movies.  my once halloween enthusiast has disappeared.  hopefully its only temporary


the anniversary of mom's death....while it was sad, i made it through this year without any breakdowns.  i did a lot of remembering, especially of the good times.  i talked about her, i remembered her, i missed her, i talked to her even if she's not here, i like to think she can still hear me.

uncle kenny's memorial service.  i wasn't able to make it but i heard it was amazing.  it just breaks my heart that i couldn't be there for some of my family.

the great apartment flood and everything that went along with that. 


but like they always say, there's always a silver lining.  a few of the good things that happened this month:

R. was offered a position with the NNPS system and we are finally back on track to being a two income family.  this is huge for us and i couldn't be more excited.  its been tough living on just my income alone, but we somehow did it.  and now some of that stress will melt away and we can get back to our normal lives!

my moms anniversary really allowed me to finally let go of some of the emotional baggage i was still holding on to.  and i really feel like i can finally start healing and moving on.  i know now its okay to be sad and miss her, but i dont need to blame myself anymore.

i reconnected with some people from my past.  and said the things i needed to say to them and got some feedback.

the new apartment.  it took some pushing but i got my way in the end and i think we're all much happier in the new place. 

settling in.

still getting settled into the new place.

but already, things have improved drastically.

i never realized how much my surroundings affect my mood until we moved.  being in our old apartment was depressing, it felt cramped and cold and small.  i felt confined and miserable.

now i'm in an apartment that feels light and airy, its bright and my mood has never been better.  i can even tell that our health has improved.  iain and i had severe breathing problems in the old place.  in fact, i think iain had a cold the entire time we were there.  and now? not so much as a sniffle or a sneeze.


things at work are good, my plate seems to be getting fuller but its nice.  the extra work definitely helps the day go by faster and hopefully my hard work pays off in the end.  or is at least not going unnoticed. 

a proper update will come in a few days. 

there's no place like...home?

so i have an apartment.  which i have been unable to live in for going on four days now.

for most of last week, hampton roads saw nothing but rain.  for most of the week i felt as though i was walking on eggshells, because i live in a basement unit.  and we all know that apartments can almost always be counted on for one thing...poor plumbing.

we made it through most of the week with no issues and i thought i was in the clear.  friday's forecast showed no rain, warmer weather and a break from puddles.  so thursday night me and my partner in crime were lounged out in the living room, catching up on our dvr'd shows and chit-chatting.  suddenly R. jumped up from the couch, "do you hear that?" me: "hear what? i can't hear anything."

he ran around the couch and down the short distance to our bathroom and thats when the horror began.  their was sewage spewing out of the bathtub drain, covering the tub in this black/ink-like liquid and the toilet was just flowing all over my bathroom floor.  we quickly grabbed all the towels we had to create a barricade between the bathroom and the hallway (this did not work).  everything people had flushed was suddenly in my bathroom, hallway and kitchen.  i'm not going to get into how disgusting it was or how badly it smelled.  but it got to the point where we couldn't make it stop or scoop the water up quickly enough.  the maintenance guy i had called as soon as we saw the water finally showed up about 45 minutes after i initially called him.  he came with no tools, no shop-vac, nothing.  all he did was come in and say: "wow...thats bad!" and then returned outside to wait for a plumber to show up.

about an hour later, he (the maintenance guy) shows back up, knocking on my door and exclaims:  "so...good news! its not our fault or anything we did, its the city's. so you guys are gonna have to call the city of newport news and hopefully if enough people call tonight, they'll get someone out here earlier than in the morning.  so yeah, call the city and have a good night."

are you kidding me?!

at this point i am holding back tears.  my apartment is ruined, i have now lost all my towels and a good amount of clothing and you're not going to do anything to help me?

we quickly packed up a few things, grabbed iain out of bed and headed to R.'s mom's house.  showers were taken as quickly as possible, shoes were thrown away and the waiting game began.

friday morning we returned back to the apartment to see that nothing had been done yet.  anger had set in again.  and the smell made me nauseous.  friday was supposed to be a great day.  i had my workday already planned out, it was iain's birthday and we were gonna go out for a family dinner later on that evening.  however, i ended up having to call out of work because of the flooding which kind of turned the entire day into a nightmare, but i still tried to make the best of it.  after noting that the apartment was still a wreck, we returned to R.'s moms house and waited until the afternoon before we checked again.

at about 1pm, we returned to check on our place and they had been in the apartment.  from what we could see some of the carpet padding had been ripped up, water had been sucked out of the carpet and out of the bathroom.  but that was it.  the smell was horrifying.

obviously we couldn't stay there again, so we decided to spend one more evening with R's mom and saturday we would go get lots of cleaning supplies and deal with it ourselves.  we spent a good 4 hours cleaning yesterday and the smell would not go away.  there is extensive damage to our bathroom and in my opinion, that carpet needs to be replaced.  of course, our rental office is not open on the weekends (how convenient).  so tomorrow after my dental appointment, i am going to have to go speak with property managment and see what they're going to do.  at this point, they have two options.  they can replace the carpet, fix all the damage in the bathroom or they can move me into a new unit.

the apartment is unsanitary.  its as simple as that.  you cannot expect a couple with a child to continue living in a unit after something like that has happened.  renters have rights and i now know mine thanks to a friend, so i know exactly what i am entitled to.

i'll keep you all updated on the status of this problem.  i'm hoping i will be given some good news tomorrow. 

a mind full of jumble

there's a few things i want/need to write about but my thoughts are so jumbled right now, i feel like the blog itself would be one giant run-on mess of random thoughts.

actually that's probably what 99.4% of my blogs end up being.  i write as i think/think as i write, which sometimes works in my favor....other times probably not so much.  in those other times, i feel bad for the few people that read my little blog *laughs* because you probably think i talk a mile a minute, am super hyper and can't sit still to save my life.  in reality, i'm the complete opposite of all those things.  except when i'm listening to myself talk in my head, my voice goes about a million miles a minute.


so here's a preview of some upcoming blogs i will be working on this week:

- adventures in vegan baking.
  (remember those vegan raspberry fig breakfast bars i was dying to make a week ago? well they're currently baking in the oven....this should be interesting......)

- workplace dresscodes and age appropriate clothing choices.
  (i've gotta get this off my chest!)

- 6 year retrospect of motherhood.
  (the love of my life, my one and only son will be turning 6 on friday.  six years of being a mom, what a strange and crazy trip this has been!)


so stay tuned, keep following and please comment!  it kind of makes me feel like this is all worthwhile. 

<3
ena

my partner in crime.

this is R.

my partner in crime.

he's pretty great.  he said i should write a blog about him.  so here it is. 

i was going to attempt a haiku, but that just isn't working out haha.

so to my p.i.c.

thank you for putting up with my crazy ass and showing me what its like to really be loved.

i love you!

<3

ena.

xxx

lessons in death

this week has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me.

this past saturday i received news that one of my uncles (on my fathers side) had passed away. the news of his passing has devastated me to my very core. it has been some years since i last spoke with him, but my love for him has remained the same all these years. i spent a lot of my childhood years with him and his family and they truly are some of the best memories i have growing up. and now, that's all i have of him. memories and photographs. i am thankful to have known him and spent so much time with him. i will cherish those memories forever. i have chosen to stay rather quiet in talking about his death with people around me. i talked to a few people, but no one really knows what to say about it. i've become fairly withdrawn from everything. and i can only see it getting worse.

yesterday i got a message about one of my momma's best friends. she passed away this week as well. she had been fighting liver cancer for some time and although she fought long and hard, her body just could not keep up. all i can say is that i am so sorry for your loss and you are all in my thoughts.

having lost my momma three years ago this october, my heart just aches. people say it gets easier with time, that the pain fades and the tears will slow. i'm still waiting for that time. i don't foresee that time coming soon but i am okay with that. my momma and i had our fair share of disagreements and fights but we also had some pretty good times. i spent most of my adolescence and a good part of my early 20's being angry with her and i really wish that i could go back and change that. but most of all, i just wish that i could tell her one last time that i loved her. i didn't do that nearly enough while she was alive. but i say it everyday now that she's gone. the next few months will continue to be hard. in just a few weeks the anniversary of my grandmothers death will be upon us and only a few days following that, my son, the love of my life, will be turning 6.

but with joy comes sorrow. with life there comes death. and while i will be sad for a while, i must remember the good times. the laughs, the jokes, the smiles, the adventures had and the adventures still to come.

all of this just reminds me more and more that i need to live life to its fullest. to make the best of every single day that i have. and not take anything for granted, but at the same time, don't dwell on the bad stuff. continue to surround myself with positivity and get rid of the negativeness around here.

Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.

RIP Kenneth Arneson October 18, 1961 - September 11, 2010
RIP Lori Marie Lundgren March 19, 1960 - September 15, 2010
RIP Bonita May Murphy December 26, 1929 - September 29, 2004
RIP Kimberly Ann Murphy December 30, 1964 - October 19, 2007

and then he used air quotes!?

so originally i had this grand plan for this blog. just like the rest of them. livejournal, myspace, twitter, facebook (okay well not so much FB), etc. etc. i start things and don't finish them. the story of my life. i wouldn't say i'm a "quitter" maybe more like a "puts things on the back burner", that sounds better...then again..i did quit brownies, i didn't even make it to girl scouts. meaning, i never got to sell cookies "professionally".....heh.

anyway!

i had planned to use this as my diet blog, hence the random recipes. but in my quest of living better, eating more healthy, shedding those ungodly pounds and my ultimate quest of living forever, this blog was treated more and more like the red-headed step-child.

but i'm back! no more blogging about dieting, because really who wants to read about that?


lets write and read about fun stuff! granted, my life is pretty mundane. i work 8am to 5pm, monday thru friday, in a lovely grey half cubicle, with some pretty crazy individuals (i say crazy in a good way) and some batshit crazy people that make my cringe (i guess every office has those).

i have a preschooler about to turn 5! i'm going to school and hopefully someday, i might actually graduate with a degree or 15. we'll see if i can stick with my major this time around. i think i finally found the one thing i know i can do, the one thing that will allow me to enjoy what im doing and make a difference. we'll discuss that topic at a later time.

so....fall has finally reached the commonwealth. there's a slight chill in the air, the sweaters are coming out, more rain than sunshine and the most important...the pumpkin spice latte is back at sbux. exciting, right? well i thought so.

stay tuned for more pointless ramblings.