things are getting real folks!
this next month is going to fly by, it seems like there's a new set of appointments popping up every week. today i spoke with the insurance rep at the surgeons clinic and she went over what the requirements are. so tomorrow i will call the psychologists office to see about setting up an appointment for my psych exam and i will call the nutritionist to schedule an appointment with them as well.
all in all there's not a ton i need to do before surgery. its more or less a waiting game, which has given me plenty of time to freak myself out.
my biggest worry is because i've never had surgery of any kind. i've never been put under, i've never been operated on in any way (not even a tooth pulling or a broken bone). so of course i get scared that i'll be the one that doesn't wake up. i've gotta stop thinking like that. another one of my worries is how things will be after surgery. no matter what people say, surgery changes you. i know this and i'm trying to prepare myself for it. i'm not going to be one of those people that says, "oh i won't change, i won't change." its inevitable. it really truly is. how can you not change after having something so life-altering happen? i will essentially be losing an entire person from my body. along with that excess weight, an outpouring of emotions will join in on the fun. i'm sure i will have my fair share of breakdowns, but with those breakdowns triumphs will happen. and i can't lose focus on all the good that will come of this.
and then there is the issue of saggy skin. aside from plastic surgery, there's not much i can do about this. its all a matter of genetics and i won't know how good mine are until they've kicked in haha. i've heard various things from a handful of people, some bad some good. i've heard it all from, "oh you're in your 20's your skins gonna bounce right back!" and then i've heard the bad "oh yeah, you're gonna look like you're melting." gee thanks for that one! i guess for the time being all i can do is take everything one day at a time, there's no point in worrying about things that havent happened yet.
well thats enough for now. i have a physical scheduled for next tuesday and i'm hoping to get some blood testing done. i would like to have my thyroid checked out since i haven't had it checked since high school. tests always came back that everything was okay and normal. but recently i've read and heard that pregnancy can sometimes throw your thyroid out of check and who knows, maybe thats the underlying issue. maybe i wont need to have surgery.
we shall see!
until next week!
<3 ena
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