farewell october

this morning was the first morning where i really felt autumn in the air.  the air was brisk and filled my lungs, there was that smell in the air....not the typical "eww the trash stinks!" but fall was in the air.  today was one of the first days where the heat wasn't overwhelming.  it was enjoyable.  and i really wish i could have enjoyed it more than i was able to.  but hopefully the weekend proves to be nothing short of amazing.

but just as expected, the month flew by before i could enjoy it.  this was a month of a lot of ups and downs.

lows:

unfortunately there was no visit to the pumpkin patch this year.  iain opted out since he had gone to one with his school.  i guess he's at that age right now where he doesn't like to "repeat" things.  honestly, it bummed me out a little but i am hoping that the impending holiday season will give us some time to do some adventuring.  we also haven't had a chance to carve any pumpkins or make caramel apples.  we did a few halloween crafts and watched some halloween movies.  my once halloween enthusiast has disappeared.  hopefully its only temporary


the anniversary of mom's death....while it was sad, i made it through this year without any breakdowns.  i did a lot of remembering, especially of the good times.  i talked about her, i remembered her, i missed her, i talked to her even if she's not here, i like to think she can still hear me.

uncle kenny's memorial service.  i wasn't able to make it but i heard it was amazing.  it just breaks my heart that i couldn't be there for some of my family.

the great apartment flood and everything that went along with that. 


but like they always say, there's always a silver lining.  a few of the good things that happened this month:

R. was offered a position with the NNPS system and we are finally back on track to being a two income family.  this is huge for us and i couldn't be more excited.  its been tough living on just my income alone, but we somehow did it.  and now some of that stress will melt away and we can get back to our normal lives!

my moms anniversary really allowed me to finally let go of some of the emotional baggage i was still holding on to.  and i really feel like i can finally start healing and moving on.  i know now its okay to be sad and miss her, but i dont need to blame myself anymore.

i reconnected with some people from my past.  and said the things i needed to say to them and got some feedback.

the new apartment.  it took some pushing but i got my way in the end and i think we're all much happier in the new place.