the day after...

well i'm awake.  with a grumbly belly, runny nose and overall tiredness.

so far i'm not hungover.  and although we did start celebrating the new year yesterday afternoon (possibly around noon), as the evening progressed, i really started "slow-stepping" it on the alcohol.  by midnight i'm pretty sure i was completely sober, but i was still having a good time.  most of yesterday was spent playing dr.mario on the wii.  i must say, it was the best $10 i ever spent and accounted for hours, yes HOURS of fun.  to the point where we turned the damn game into a drinking game, which may have to turn into a new tradition for party nights. 

my house is full of sleeping friends.  because we're all responsible adults and i would never EVER let someone leave my home thats been drinking.  i'm just glad i was able to provide comfy cozy spots for everyone.  maybe that extra mattress is worth hanging on to, haha.

so 2010 is over.  honestly, i can't sit here and pin-point things that happened every month during that year.  but i'm glad to say its over.  for the most part 2010 was a year of struggle, not only for me, but a lot of my friends as well.  i was glad to say goodbye and say hello to a new and promising year.

i'm not really one for making "resolutions"  but i would like to try harder at some things, such as:

• making healthier choices in general.  such as eating better and exercising (i did buy a gym membership!)
• not to mention:  healthier choices in the way i live on this earth and healthier choices for my mental and spiritual state.  
• spend less time online and stop being so technology obsessed.
• as a society i think a lot of us have really lost touch with whats important because we're all to busy playing on our phones, laptops, social networking sites, etc.
• since i went into the new year already having quit facebook, i feel good about this.  i spend less time on the computer now, i use it for what i need and get off right away.  although i will update my blog.
•  travel.
• i say this every year, i make plans, BIG plans, tell them to everyone and then everything falls through.  but not this year dammit!  i will go somewhere haha!
• continue the constant strive to stay positive.
• the power of positive thinking is no joke, i truly believe this.  however, being and staying positive is really hard for me.  sometimes i have no idea why i am such a downer 99% of the time.
• stay in touch with friends.
• now that i am facebookless, i have to remember not to alienate my friends and family.  i must stay in touch!
• adventure with the boys as much as possible.
• remember that each new day with them is a blessing and full of endless opportunities.  spend more time together as a family enjoying and learning from eachother.  make time to try and see new things.  cook together, eat together, play together, laugh and cry together, just be together.  happy and healthy.
• continue being a crafty bitch!
• 'nuff said!
• make the effort
• im going to be vague on this.
• realize that its okay to put a little focus on yourself sometimes and not feel guilty about it.
• this one is going to be hard for me, but i know i have to do it.  i go without a lot of things all the time because i feel guilty about spending any time/money on myself.  but this year, i need to get over this and realize that sometimes its okay to buy that $5 bottle of OPI nailpolish or spend the money to have my haircut more than once a year.

and thats it from me!

i hope everyone has an amazing year!

an update...of sorts! well really, just a bunch of rambling...

well, as you can see i have severely neglected my little blog this month.  november has been rough, health wise.  life wise, however, things seem to be falling right into place and i couldn't be more thankful for that.

a few weeks ago i came down with the worst case of pink eye i have ever encountered as it was making its way around the public schools and iain managed to bring it home with him.  pair that with an awful sinus infection and cough and i was out of commission.  and then this past weekend, iain got really sick.  a fever of 102 was followed by a trip to urgent care the very next morning where he was diagnosed with pneumonia and an ear infection.  so we have been battling that all week.  poor kid!  luckily the antibiotics seem to finally be kicking in and he is slowly back to his old crazy self. 

with all the illnesses we've been battling, i totally fell of track with my writing for nanowrimo!  i am totally disappointed, however, i think it was a great motivator to get me back into writing.  i found the inspiration i really needed to finally get a good idea together for a book and even after november is over, i plan on continuing writing it and eventually sending it off to a publisher.

and today is thanksgiving.  this will mark the fourth thanksgiving i have spent without my mom.  later on this afternoon we will head down to virginia beach to spend the evening with R.'s family.  and some other people i would rather not spend any time with, but i will have to suck it up and deal with it.

black friday....

this is the first year where i am actually really tempted to go out shopping before work.  yes, i have to work tomorrow.  thank you corporate america.  but hey, atleast they gave me christmas eve and new years eve off this year, usually they have us work til about noon both days.  anyway, like i was saying.  shopping...tomorrow...i kind of want to go.  sheets, pillows and other fun house stuff for super cheap, not to mention lots of toys and games for super cheap for the sidekick.  the downside of all that is the traffic, the crazy people and well the crazy people in large crowds.  this is something i am going to have to think long and hard about.

and finally this weekend, i will finally be hauling my butt to the movie theater to see the newest harry potter with a few of my favorite people and i couldn't be more excited.  even the sidekick may join in on the fun.


so in the grand tradition of school essays, here is a list of things i am thankful for this year:

- the partner in crime.
- the side kick.
- an amazing group of friends. (if you're reading this you probably fit in with this group)
- an amazing family that has taken me in as one of their own.
- my real family - the few i stay in contact with.
- despite recent sickness, i am thankful we are all here to see another holiday season.
- chapstick.
- good lotion.
- flat irons.
- and coffee.

happy thanksgiving everyone!  i'm off to watch the macy's thanksgiving day parade.

no inspiration this saturday

i have officially been sick for one week.

yesterday i finally dragged myself to the doctor, because i needed a note for work due to iain plowing through all my paid time off.

after an absurd amount of copays, talking, questions, more talking, poking and listening.  i was officially diagnosed with pink eye and a sinus infection.  both of which i already knew i had.  the fact that i had to pay for a nurse to question me on why i thought i had pink eye and then have the doctor come in, open the door, look at me and go: "ohh yeah, thats definitely pink eye."  $50 later and 4 prescriptions in hand, i was on my way to the pharmacy where i spent another $45 and could only get 3 of the 4 'scripts. 

today it feels like i've been hit by a freight train.  according to R. i have been still going none stop since getting sick a week ago, so today i am to rest.  R. took our little sidekick off to Nana's house for the day for some Daddy/Son bonding. 

and i am camped out on the couch, with my pink fuzzy blanket, the laptop and sex and the city 2 on the tv.

hopefully i will resume all regularly scheduled activity soon.  i hate this feeling of being sick and woozy and blah.

a mind full of jumble

there's a few things i want/need to write about but my thoughts are so jumbled right now, i feel like the blog itself would be one giant run-on mess of random thoughts.

actually that's probably what 99.4% of my blogs end up being.  i write as i think/think as i write, which sometimes works in my favor....other times probably not so much.  in those other times, i feel bad for the few people that read my little blog *laughs* because you probably think i talk a mile a minute, am super hyper and can't sit still to save my life.  in reality, i'm the complete opposite of all those things.  except when i'm listening to myself talk in my head, my voice goes about a million miles a minute.


so here's a preview of some upcoming blogs i will be working on this week:

- adventures in vegan baking.
  (remember those vegan raspberry fig breakfast bars i was dying to make a week ago? well they're currently baking in the oven....this should be interesting......)

- workplace dresscodes and age appropriate clothing choices.
  (i've gotta get this off my chest!)

- 6 year retrospect of motherhood.
  (the love of my life, my one and only son will be turning 6 on friday.  six years of being a mom, what a strange and crazy trip this has been!)


so stay tuned, keep following and please comment!  it kind of makes me feel like this is all worthwhile. 

<3
ena

and then he used air quotes!?

so originally i had this grand plan for this blog. just like the rest of them. livejournal, myspace, twitter, facebook (okay well not so much FB), etc. etc. i start things and don't finish them. the story of my life. i wouldn't say i'm a "quitter" maybe more like a "puts things on the back burner", that sounds better...then again..i did quit brownies, i didn't even make it to girl scouts. meaning, i never got to sell cookies "professionally".....heh.

anyway!

i had planned to use this as my diet blog, hence the random recipes. but in my quest of living better, eating more healthy, shedding those ungodly pounds and my ultimate quest of living forever, this blog was treated more and more like the red-headed step-child.

but i'm back! no more blogging about dieting, because really who wants to read about that?


lets write and read about fun stuff! granted, my life is pretty mundane. i work 8am to 5pm, monday thru friday, in a lovely grey half cubicle, with some pretty crazy individuals (i say crazy in a good way) and some batshit crazy people that make my cringe (i guess every office has those).

i have a preschooler about to turn 5! i'm going to school and hopefully someday, i might actually graduate with a degree or 15. we'll see if i can stick with my major this time around. i think i finally found the one thing i know i can do, the one thing that will allow me to enjoy what im doing and make a difference. we'll discuss that topic at a later time.

so....fall has finally reached the commonwealth. there's a slight chill in the air, the sweaters are coming out, more rain than sunshine and the most important...the pumpkin spice latte is back at sbux. exciting, right? well i thought so.

stay tuned for more pointless ramblings.

and it begins...

Since I haven't actually "officially" started my new diet, I figured I would start out with a few posts throwing out my background and history with my weight issues.

Looking back, I think if I remember correctly my weight problems started around the third grade. For as long as I can remember, my Father has never really been in the picture. And even though my Mother was always present, she's wasn't really "available". Throughout my childhood my Father made appearances here and there when he wasn't serving time in Prison. I think that missing those two vital sources of love and adoration, I turned to what would make me feel good...food.

After sorting through my memory and remember grade school pictures. I think I was always a little bigger than other kids my age. With the exception of Kindergarten. In 1st grade there was definitely some weight starting to pack on, a little more in 2nd grade and by 3rd, I was definitely "the fat kid." With my Dad not being in the picture, my Mom moved us around a lot. If I remember correctly, I had attended 10 grade schools before 5th grade. Knowing what I know now, the extra stress of being the child of a non-present single parent and changing schools so often, its no wonder I chose food to comfort me.

Through the years the weight continued to pack itself on. And I was forever dubbed "the fat girl." And as we all know, kids can be pretty cruel when you're not the skinniest or the prettiest. Needless to say, school was always pretty rough for me. Many times I came home from school crying because of the hurtful things that were said to me and about me. I remember one year in particular. I was in 7th grade and I think I cried every single day that year. I was called names relentlessly by classmates. Both in my grade and above me. Even just thinking about it now, it makes me want to cry. You name it, I was called it. The worst being "whale". In 8th grade I was dumped by my two best friends. They didn't want to be friends with a fatty anymore, so they ditched me to save themselves any further embarrassment.

Around 9th grade, the teasing started to sort of disappear. I had lost some weight at that point, but I was going through my "goth" phases which had started the year before. So now rather than tease me about my weight, they tossed in comments about my clothing and musical tastes. This is also around the time that guys finally started to notice me. Not the guys I was interested in though. In fact, it was the guys who had spent the past couple of years tormenting me, were now the ones trying to make-out with me in the baseball dugouts after school.

For the rest of my high school days I seemed to maintain the same weight and even through my first bout of college. I can't recall any drastic weight gains or losses. I was definitely still "thick".

And that's it for now....stay tuned for 2003 and beyond, when the weight really started packing on. Pregnancy, death, depression, etc.