im on vacation bitches!

No more of this til December 27th!

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the hollow men - t.s. eliot

you have no idea who t.s. eliot is/was, i suggest you do some research.  but in case you're too lazy, just know that he was in fact one of the most important, if not the most important english-language poet of the twentieth century.

you might remember the scene in apocalypse now where marlon brando's character reads excerpts of the poem. 

the last few lines of the poem are eliot's most often quotes lines.  the poem has been referenced in film, television and  video games.

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

for some reason, this poem totally mirrors my mood today.  enjoy.

Mistah Kurtz—he dead.

      A penny for the Old Guy

      I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

      II

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death’s dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind’s singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death’s dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat’s coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer—

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom

      III

This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man’s hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death’s other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

      IV

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms

In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death’s twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

      V
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o’clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
                                For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
                                Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
                                For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

today...i quit facebook

i've never in my life had so many people freakout!

its just facebook people.  its not like i offed myself or something.

saturday morning geekiness

i'm in the mood to do nothing but stay in my pajamas and watch star wars....alll....day.....long


happy saturday!

TILT!

i've decided to add a TILT posting from now on. in case you didn't know, TILT means "things i love thursday!"  so lets do this!

text messaging!  this a pic of my phone (not my exact phone, but the model i use).  now you can all see what i go through to text you, just kidding.  its pretty great (when the phone works).


anyway, i love nothing more to see my phone blinking with news of messages.  i hate talking on the phone, so i stick texting.  luckily nowadays with everyone having unlimited texting and super fancy phones, we can have actual full-on conversations.  nothing annoys me more than trying to read a message from someone that is abbreviated and in nothing but "text lingo". 

cute puppy pictures.

that i strategically save and post to facebook, while tagging my partner in crime so he gets the hint that i want need a puppy in my life.  

an outrageously cute one at that.  like <<<< this one.

this adorable ewok looking puppy. >>>>










and of course, this guy.  who i can't take full credit for, because the partner in crime saved this one himself!

the new bruno mars cd - all i'm going to say is listen to it!!!!!!

and other things i love that i don't feel like posting pictures of:  chapstick (especially burt bees! love the burn hehe), delivery pizza, astro pop shots (i drank a few of these on my birthday haha amazing!) and pho!!!!!! always love pho.  which would be excellent right

aging gracefully...or something like that

in about 3 hours i'm going to be turning 28. 

age and aging in general has really been something i've struggled with since my mom passed.  slowly i am coming to grips with the fact that i am getting older and sometime i will be old and eventually i will die.  how depressing!

anyway.

it seems like time has just been flying by, its like the last time i checked i was turning 21, i blinked and now i'm turning 28.

for most of my 20's i've felt like i was years behind where i should be in life.  when my friends were busy getting ready to graduate college, i was busy with a newborn.  when those friends were traveling the world, i was changing diapers.  when those same friends were getting engaged, planning weddings, getting married, buying their first home, i was wondering where i took the wrong road.

i was 21 when i had my son, i was 24 when my mother committed suicide, i was 25 when i bought my first car (and i'm on #3 since then), i was also 25 when i started working my "grown-up" job, i was 26 when i got my first apartment and started paying rent for the first time.  maybe i'll have all those other major life events in the next few years. 

doing things backwards i guess isn't so bad.  in the next few years, i'll have my degree.  so long as i don't change my major 50 more times.  i'll hopefully have a better paying job with a fantastic company and i'll be on my way to having more babies and buying my first home.

i am slowly getting over my fear of aging and dying.  since my mom was so young when she died (43), i feel like thats the age when everything stops.  so i am forever rushing to get everything accomplished that i need to.  however, i am not my mother.  this will have to be my new motto.


anyway, a toast to my 28th year.  may it be the best year yet, full of laughter, good health, good fortune, love and learning.

stay tuned for my list of life lessons, thus far to be posted this weekend.


if you're in the area, i will be celebrating on saturday, december 11th at pho seventynine in newport news and ending the evening with drinks at keagans irish pub.  message me for more details.  otherwise, feel free to send me cupcakes and flowers at work ;)